Thursday, January 31, 2013

The Day I Ran Naked Through The Jungle With Rabid Lemurs Snapping At My Buttocks

Helloooooo!

Today, I want to address something super duper important to my fellow writers. Before you click the little red X on the right hand corner of your screen, know this post could mean the difference between a reader buying your book or setting it back on the shelf.


Think about it, no, better yet, I want you to venture to your nearest bookstore and watch the people as they scan the bookshelves in search of the perfect story, one that will transport them away from all the miseries of this world, to a world where someone else is facing miseries, because let's face it, nobody wants to read a story without conflict.

But this post isn't about conflict. It's about the magic moment we pick up a book and decide to spend our hard earned $$$ on it. For me, that crucial decision occurs in the first two paragraphs. Others may have more patience than me, but not much.

If we writers don't captivate readers right out of the gate, our book's life expectancy dwindles. Fast. Do you see what I did with the title to this post? Of course you do, because you're all a bunch of savvy peeps who know what's what. But for the few who stayed up too late, boozing, studying, or playing X-Box, I'll explain myself and my shocking antics.

I used a crazy title to draw you all to my page. Yes, I know you guys are all aware of HOOKS and how important they are, but this is one horse that can't be rode too hard or too long. WE GOTTA HOOK OUR READERS, OR THEY PUT OUR BOOKS DOWN AND PICK UP ANOTHER ONE. IF THAT BOOK HOOKS THEM, THEN THEY SPEND THEIR $$$ ON IT, INSTEAD OF OURS!!!

Think CRAZY! Think SHOCKING! Or you can always toss out a SECRET, right at the very beginning of your book. Whatever you use, make sure it's something to cause the potential buyer to keep reading because if they do, you've probably HOOKED them.

I'll end this post with the opening paragraphs to my WIP, Trip Wire. Okay, deep breaths...butterflies in stomach... here goes...  

         Smoke laced with death and decay wrap around the thick July air as I sit on the creek bank, ticking off this morning’s body count. Reading the sign on the tree, (Trespassers will be killed on sight!) I wonder if the people I shot last night were illiterate. Or maybe they thought we were bluffing. Whatever the case, they were either looking for information or protection. Both are a liability we can’t afford.

            As the outsiders grow more desperate, so do the morning fires. It’s not a pretty sight, the bloated flesh sizzling in the flames, but it’s the most sanitary way to dispose of Strays and easier than digging graves. To keep the fire from spreading, I dip a bucket in the water and pour it into the trench circling the inferno. Satisfied with my containment measures, I hang the bucket on a tree.

            From the corner of my eye, I spot a lone figure crossing old man Cleary’s property. When my ID Badge doesn’t beep, I know he doesn’t have a badge of his own, which makes him a Stray. In a few minutes, I’ll likely add another corpse to the pile. Though just having emerged from the river, I’d rather not. For once I’d like to stay clean—no blood on my hands.
Still taking calming, deep breaths...okay, do you get what I'm saying? I hope this is a good example of a hook. If not, feel free to burst my bubble. I've got thick skin. Also, I'd love to have examples from you guys. Maybe throw out a one liner, or a two, three or four liner.
Until next time, happy writing or whatever makes you smile. :)

44 comments:

  1. Great hook to your WIP and it does exactly what a good hook is supposed to do....makes me asks questions that I want answered.

    Look forward to seeing more, if possible :)

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    1. Hey, Mark!

      Thanks! I sooo need to read this! :)

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    2. lol, needed, I needed to read your comment for encouragement! :)

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  2. Great start! And you're so right. Thanks for the reminder :)

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  3. You're right: a hook is essential in snaring the book browser ... or the agent looking at your submission, too!

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    1. I fully agree, Roland! I'm finally getting the hang of it, I think. :)

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  4. Ha! Naked always brings me in. You might have guessed that. But lemurs are promising, too (most playful or cute animals in fact... okay, even yak in the title might... I give--any animal). The promise of the title needs to be followed though, as people don't like to feel tricked. So yes, also on those first couple paragraphs. In fact if there wasn't such a high risk there, I suspect we'd see MORE far out, interesting titles.

    Your excerpt was great! Even got be past my anti-present tense bias, which to be honest, is sort of hard to do.

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    1. I'd even go so far as to say only present would work for this scene.

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    2. Wow, Hart, thanks! And yeah, I agree, we shouldn't trick our readers, but I figured I could get away w/this since it fit w/my post. It's crazy, but I used to HATE present tense,too, but now, writing in any other tense is weird for me. Go figure. I really appreciate you stopping by. :)

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    3. Oh, and you're a hoot! I knew someone would come just because naked is involved! And who can pass up buttocks?!?! :P

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  5. This excerpt is great! I normally don't like present tense either, but this calls for it. I didn't even notice until I read Hart's comment. :) That was something that really threw me out of the story in Hunger Games.

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  6. Laura! Thanks a million! This kind of positive feedback is just what I needed. When I'm working on something new, I'm always afraid, wondering if it's "working", so this helps with my confidence. I'm so glad you stopped by. :)

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  7. I think you hit the nail on the head. Hooks are so hard!! Good thing I have smart friends to help me out ;)

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  8. Thanks, Elizabeth!

    Same here! I'm glad I have peeps, who will pour over my stuff until their eyeballs are about to fall out. :P

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  9. Two thumbs up! Great start to your book... but I must say, it doesn't live up to your post title, kiddo. (Bet that'll bring some strange hits on the search engines!)

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  10. Thanks for the two thumbs up! :) Yeah, I hope the search engines goes wild, lol. :P

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  11. Sooooooo true. Spot on, Celeste. And you're doing fabulous. Love it.

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    1. Gosh, thanks, Morgan. I hope I don't run out of stuff to write about. :)

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  12. I'm disappointed. I came for the naked rabid lemurs.

    I'll have to just go to the naked rabid wallaby pages instead.

    The hook ? Loved this part :

    It’s not a pretty sight, the bloated flesh sizzling in the flames, but it’s the most sanitary way to dispose of Strays and easier than digging graves. To keep the fire from spreading, I dip a bucket in the water and pour it into the trench circling the inferno. Satisfied with my containment measures, I hang the bucket on a tree.

    The care of hanging the bucket is such a contrast to the burning of the bodies (in my mind) because I associate disposal with coarse and uncaring types. This guy doesn't seem to be either. He's brutal, but in a conscientious way.

    Burning the pyre just grabs me when contrasted with the element of care. YMMV.

    I like it.


    Jack

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    1. Hey, Jack!

      I know, lol, that was a dirty trick, but I thought it was a funny way to make a point. In the future, I'll try to behave. :)

      Now for the kicker: I think it'll surprise you even more to know that the character burning the bodies is a sixteen-year-old girl.

      Thanks so much for your input. You've got a great eye/mind for detail. I'm glad you stopped by. I look forward to more of your feedback. :)

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  13. ...the "hook" may in fact be the one saving grace between our work finding itself back on the shelf, as opposed to sitting upon a reader's bedside table.

    The proof is in the pudding...the title of your post urged a grin, caused me to read on ;)

    El

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    1. Ha! I'm glad it made you grin, Elliot. I was hoping at least one person would get a kick out of it. :)

      I like that idea. I hope our books make it to lots and lots of bedside tables.

      Thanks so much for dropping in. I hope you come back. :)

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  14. First line really does it. Took me until my second book to really learn how to rock the first line. Not that it does, but I'm better at it...
    And my apologies! I didn't realize I wasn't following you. Epic Ninja fail...

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    1. Hey, Alex!

      As popular as you are, I'm thinking you're rocking those first lines! Hand claps to you!

      No worries, I imagine it's super hard for even a great Ninja like you to keep up w/all of us out here in the blogosphere. With that being said, I'm glad you jumped aboard my crazy ship, and I look forward to hanging out w/you on the web. :)

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  15. Who knew Lemurs could turn on you like that? You've destroyed my love of Lemurs forever. However, a book that started out with this scene might just get my hard earned cash. :-)

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  16. LOL, yes, those Lemurs can be quite beastly. And now that I might have a reader, I'm inspired to work extra hard on finishing my WIP. As always, thanks for stopping by, C. Lee. :)

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  17. I totally agree - the hook is one of the most important things to entice a reader to give your book a go...And your opening does just that. Well done!

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  18. Thanks, Pat!

    I'm have a lot of fun with this one! :)

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  19. That was really good, Celeste. It certainly hooked me. I'd quite like to read more actually :)

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    1. Thanks, Wendy! With lots of luck and grit, hopefully, I'll have it out there, soon. That's the plan anyway. Glad you popped in. I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you. :)

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  20. I tend to be sort of anti-hook. Seriously. If I pick up a book, and I see that the first sentence or paragraph is just a specially crafted hook, my tendency is to put it back down. Yeah, I know, how un-Something of me. The thing about great first lines or paragraphs is that most of them weren't trying to be a "hook." Like Dickens. There was no "Man, I really need to have a great opening line to convince people to read my stuff." I mean, sure, you need to have a strong beginning, but, if what you've written looks like a hook in comparison to what follows, I am less than unconvinced to try out your work.

    Yeah, I'm ornery that way.

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    1. Terribly ornery, lol, but I get what you're saying. I'm brutal on myself, so from start to finish, I stress over every single word. Probably not a good thing. At some point, maybe I'll relax. :)

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    2. I was reading, recently, about this guy that wrote sentence by sentence, trying to make each one -the- perfect sentence. What he eventually discovered is that when he stressed over the small parts that way, what he ended up with was crap. He had to start writing the stories and let the sentences, the words, just happen.

      I think there's a lot of wisdom in that.

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    3. Queuing the nature music and breaking out the lavender...mmm...:P

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  21. I may be the odd one out here, I never choose a book or put it down based on its first line, paragraph or page. I generally choose a book because of its description or because of recommendations from friends. Maybe this is why I have such a hard time writing the beginning.

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    1. I think lots of readers/writers are like you S.P. Nothing wrong with that. We just all gotta find our nitch and roll with it. :)

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